I felt that this week Sermon would be quite befitting to partnering with the dangers of idolatry, the dangers of codependency. I can also personally identify with being in a toxic relationship, which inspired me to talk about it. I also know what it looks like and sounds like among other people. Most people can’t see it until it’s too late or the damage is already done, but I pray that somebody out there will come across this word and I pray that it brings them to the light and that there is change. Codependecy is a condition that can affect anyone, it can be toxic, hurtful, and most of all can destroy the person that have the condition if they let it. It can take place in any type of relationship such as:Family, friends, etc. What can be involved, manipulation, deception,betrayl,depression, and death. But the power of Jesus Christ can set you free from this horrible condition. Here are signs to let you know if you are in a codependent relationship or someone you might know.
Danger Signs of a Codependent Relationship
Loving another more than yourself, or even life itself, has been romanticized through drama and music before Romeo and Juliet or knights in shining armor.
This ideal of love however, also defines a codependent relationship, where one person cares for another to a degree that they begin to ignore their own needs, and lose sight of what they want. While the ideal presents us with the desire to love and be loved deeply, the reality is codependent relationships are often unfulfilling.
Codependency was first identified between addicts and alcoholics and their family and friends who inadvertently enable their addiction. This standard has since been modified to include a variety of behavior patterns, illustrating how both partners participate in creating a codependent dynamic.
Five danger signs of a codependent relationship are:
1.Low Self Esteem- seeking approval, difficulty asserting oneself, seeking the attention and love of others to feel value.
2.Difficulty understanding Boundaries- controlling, needy or confrontational behavior as well as rescuing, doing more than a fair share (always saying yes), taking on other’s emotional baggage.
3.Continued Focus on Others- obsessing about a partners behavior, getting wrapped up in the problems of others, people pleasing.
4.Holding onto Resentments- punishing behavior, inability to let go of past conflicts, burying feelings rather than appropriately expressing oneself.
5.Inability to Let Go- fear of abandonment, tolerating bad behavior, fear of being alone, unable to imagine life without the relationship.
A good question to ask is- What do I want out of life? If coming up with the answer involves first thinking what your partner would want, this can be a red flag.
Relationships can change, and codependent relationships can become healthy ones if both partners are willing to do the work. It is important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner where you both can express how you feel and what you want, and know the other is listening. Caregivers benefit highly from spending productive time alone, focusing attention back to themselves, identifying feelings, wants and needs.
A good reference is Melody Beattie’s “Codependent No More”, which offers healthy solutions to redefine a codependent relationship. Remember seeking objective help and advice can direct you to take responsibility for your own feelings and find the same love with another that you possess for yourself.
Take the proper steps to first admit, then seek help. Jesus can and will help. When we begin to put people in God’s place it will never work out right. Jesus said he would never leave us nor forsake us, we must understand that we were made to worship God and God alone. He also made us to fellowship with one another, but to find balance, we are nobody’s savior!When you began to recognize these signs, sit the person or persons down, pray, and then have a conversation about it. If you have to let go of the relationship after you have attempted to fix it and rebuild it through God’s help and professional counsellors, if all have failed, then let it go! Love is NOT toxic and selfish. Sometimes we will have to walk this walk alone, but know that Jesus is with you and he will never leave you ever. He loves you and wants you to serve him freely, break free from the bondage of codependency today! Father in the mighty, mighty name of Jesus, somebody need to be set free right from the bondage of co- dependency do it for them in the name of Jesus. Open their eyes and ears to the truth of Your Word, and cause them to walk in complete freedom. i cancel the plan sent from the enemy to destroy Your people and teach them Lord how to depend completely in You, in Jesus name, Amen.