Yesterday somebody informed me that they don’t want to be apart or in my life anymore. I must admit, my heart was re-shattered but it was for the best, because it was toxic! But God would not let me grieve this person, and just like He remove this person, He have put another one in my life (it’s a fresh friendship). What I am praying is for the Lord to break unhealthy friendship cycles off my life. It is not my problem, but it is the people I come in contact with problem. It’s their insecurities, hangups, and issues and they try to make it mines. Now, I am not saying I am perfect, but overall I know me, I know that I am not jealous hearted and anti-social. I had to also make a painful decision to cut some of my family members off. For sometime I had been experiencing rejection and a distance from certain family members and couldn’t understand why. I had been thinking it was something that I was doing, but God spoke to my spirit and encouraged me and let me knew that it was not my problem, it was theirs.
So what I do now is pray for them daily and keep my peace and my distance . I am okay if they decide to never have a relationship with me I had went out of my to make them apart of the family and had even stood up for them not really knowing anything about them because they constantly shut me out of their life. I will no longer push it. We will meet all types of people in life and in Ministry, but we must do what we have to do, and God is first in my world and in my life. Life is too short to trip, and beg people to love you and be apart of your world. Same with this person, when nobody else was there for them, I was but they could not handle my honesty and had some really messed up issues, yet I was still willing to love them and be their friend. People will come and go, but what I know is that never will! God understand rejection, and He is always here for all of His people. This is a very sensitive issue topic for me, but I have to confront it, and allow God to completely heal my heart!
It will take time, but I know that God will send the right person in my life, to be there for me and to genuinely have my back! Until then, I will distance myself and spend time with God. Let Him heal and help me in this area, I just don’t understand why is it hard to be a person’s friend. I am valuable though, I am loyal, trustworthy,loving,caring, exciting, fun,brilliant,mysterious,smart,beautiful,intelligent,reliable,and most of all I know the Lord as my savior. So this is to all the people who rejects me and don’t feel that I’m worth time and love. YOUR BAD! YOUR LOSS! Somebody out there will appreciate and treasure me, it’s just not you, and I actually feel sorry for you, that you don’t know what you have! And when those other so-called people leave you and walk out on you, you will then realize who I am- then it will be too late!