Today ….

Was not a good day for me, I am going almost insane because of my situation. I have to do this because writing have always been therapeutic for me,. I lost my job in November, I ran into the same person that I was running away from right out here in Sac. I have made up in my mind to not let another person abuse,use or manipulate me never again. So I quit for reasons I won’t go into so I am starting back over, looking for work, oh and not to mention, I am in the house back with my family. An overly emotional parent that simply refuse to grow up, and other relatives that have lived their whole life in fear. It’s pathetic to me, but I have God, He is my Rock. And today was terrible, but I had to release it though. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself, I am so hardcore, but it is because I have been burned and everyday I make the choice to allow God to recover me, because He don’t force us it is all our choice. But two people on the other website I go on for Aces I am sure they were talking about me, and were too cowardly to admit it. The remarks are not even worth mentioning again, but it just goes to show me that I am going up against people that are not christian and is racist as well they will always exist (as long as evil exist, but my intents are not to hurt nobody but I won’t stand by and let people walk all over me either God have not called us to do that, we are to be warriors, strong at that). Their bad! I feel safe here because this is mine and this is where I can let go and unwind. I didn’t get down on their level and become ignorant like them. I just don’t do too well with people that have narrow minds and are judgemental. I am a African American Christian BiAromantic woman and I am proud of it, I have done alot of growing up since where I left from and it’s for the best. I carry with myself with so much confidence now, God gave it to me. I feel like I am unstoppable, I have been put down and damaged, abused so much- but Jesus my savior endured the Cross, I can handle it, I am strong, and I will live for God no matter what. I am a human being. God created and made me for Him, I am not a mistake, I am not perfect, but I am God’s creation, and I wouldn’t change anything about me at all. He don’t make mistakes. I prayed and I feel better. I know that God is with me. I don’t judge others or look down on others, I always consider myself and where I have been. Somethings I will never share with anyone on the face of the planet. To me everybody can say the same. I always be a mystery to some, but not to God because He knows me even better than myself. Again I say all is welcome on here. I will love and respect you.

One Response to “Today ….”

  1. glenda January 19, 2013 at 9:28 pm #

    psalm 1:1-3 has footnotes that i thought was very helpful in this situation. “we must have contact with unbelievers if we are to witness to them, but we must not join in or imitate their sinful behavior.” niv life application study Bible notes. basically you were doing well witnessing but when the haters and satan saw what you were doing, they tried to mess that up. don’t answer the haters but get back on there! you’re right don’t let no one stop you from what God is doing if there’s a breakthrough.

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