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Here is a list of articles I have written recently for Asexual News
Representation is so important to creating asexual awareness. Chances are, if as an ace, one we’re to meet someone and reveal that they are “living without sexuality,” that will be the first interaction that person will have as an ace. The whole engineering of that person’s understanding of asexuality will be based on that one interaction. This is a astronomical quantity of pressure placed on the shoulders of the asexual in question.
Every asexual has characteristics about them that make them interesting outside of asexuality. It is best to reveal these features first before dropping the “A Bomb” and coming out as asexual. Who really wants to be known as “that asexual guy or gal” anyway. Being asexual should be the icing on the cake. Nobody’s going to hand out a gold medal to a persons declaring themselves asexual within one minute of meeting them. Believe me, I was hoping for that gold medal myself, but it just doesn’t happen in reality.
I have a very fortunate situation. My friends all know very well about my being asexual. When we meet a new group of people, eventually someone will ask about my status and one of my BFFs(I have multiple BFFs if that’s allowed) will bring up my asexuality, so I do not have to come out personally in most situations these days. This isn’t something that happened overnight. It took years for this luxury of being a known ace around town to occur.
When talking about asexuality, and I get asked about it a lot, I usually talk about what it means to me and how it shapes my life for a while before moving the conversation to the ace community. It has been very helpful being able to bring up the ace community when talking about the orientation because it let’s whoever I am speaking to understand that I am not some isolated freak of nature but rather a member of a growing group of freaks of nature.
In a few short months I have the honor of speaking on a panel comprised of asexuals at a large health fair being held in my city. People are coming from all over to be part of this and it will easily be the largest group I’ve ever spoken in front of about asexuality. I am confident in my ability to portray asexuality in a positive light and of my knowledge on the subject. All of my experiences thus far have prepared me well for this engagement. It is such a blessing to be able to use the gifts God have bestowed upon me to work towards the ace awareness that I am so passionate about.
This will be in Philadelphia Sunday 1/29. There are several asexual roles which suggests asexual storylines.
With the recent House leaving many ace feeling disappointed, this is an excellent opportunity for asexuality to become more understood in the entertainment industry. Asexual actors are encouraged to attend or contact the producer Billy Reil, whose contacts are listed at the tail of the information below.
The Coffee Pit
A collection of diverse individuals come together and open a new coffee shop called The Coffee pit.
Clashing personalities strive to keep order at cafe. Customers make things difficult by their odd behavior and their habits of telling their friends the latest happenings in their lives.
A Pro Wrestler from ECW opens hipster coffee house using unconventional tactics.
Auditions will be held on Sunday at The Philadelphia Acting Studio, 338 Brown St, 3rd floor.
Reil seeks non-union talent. The script calls for women between the ages of 18 and 40 and Men between the ages 25 and 40. Auditioning actors should bring a 2-3 minute monologue, a headshot, and resume with them. Actors chosen for the role will receive a credit in the series.
Name: Billy Reil
City, State, Zip: Philadelphia, PA, 19147.
January 2, 2012 in asexuality | Tags: ace, ace amoeba, amoeba, apple jack, asexual,asexuality, Audition, fluttershy, friendship is mafic, Hot Pieces of Ace, HPoa, link, My Little Pony, pinkie pie, princess celestia, princess luna, rainbow dash, rarity, twilight sparkle, zelda | 1 comment
I’ve decided to start off 2012 by auditioning for Hot Pieces of Ace. The video is availble from this point onward.
January 1, 2012 in asexuality | Tags: aromantic, aromantic awesomeness day,aromanticism, asexual, asexual awareness week, asexual hotline, asexual infoline,asexuality, asexualnes.com | Leave a comment
Happy New Year! As another year begins there are more independent asexual projects on the horizon then ever. Let’s take a look at just a few of them to watch for 2012.
Asexual Awareness Week– The second annual awareness campaign is something to be looked forward to. If the timing remains the same the next one will take place the last week in October 2012. This is an international campaign that enjoyed much success the first time around and it would be logical to assume that it would be more successful the following year, 2012.
Because of Asexual Awareness Week 2011, I was able to view an advanced screening of the documentary (A)sexual and meet a few fellow aces in the process. This was only one of many screenings across the United States. This documentary is supposedly going to be available on Netflix sometime in 12′.
Another very useful project part of AAW 11′ would be the Asexual Community Census, which a very impressive 3,436 individuals participated. This census furnished great insight about self-identified asexuals in such categories as asexual spectrum identity, romantic orientation, birth year, gender identity, religious affiliation, ethnicity, nationality, education, attitude towards sex and other criteria.
The committee members of AAW work very hard at what they do and their toils have been fruitful and is a group that is being encouraged to support in 12′.
Aromantic Awesomeness Day– The first annual celebration of Aromantic Awesomeness Day took place on December 3, 2011 with little fanfare. This is understandable as the idea wasn’t proposed until November 1 of that same year.. A little over a month to organize an event isn’t really enough, however there is an abundance of time to prepare for next years event, which falls on a Monday as it will be on Dec 3, 2012.
Let’s hope this year’s event gets more attention as there is much that is not understood about aromanticism which is sometimes considered marginalized within the larger asexual community and of course outside of it as well.
The Asexual News– A relatively new site popping up in early 2011 and having an impressive first year in regards to both quality and the traffic it has garnered in such a brief period. It’s an excellent place for asexual happenings and there is much that has been brought to my attention though this site.
This site is where I first found out about the antique Dear Abby column and the more the recent Dr. Ruth column, both dealing with asexuality. In addition to stories that carry a sensible importance, there are also articles about ace entertainment, lighthearted material and of course cake.
Recently, I joined the writing staff of Asexual News, and while I am not even going to try to keep up with the Double L Lara Landis, I can promise a substantial contribution to the site.
Carnival of Aces– Here’s to this blog carnival continuing throughout 2012, as I am just getting on that bus now with this entry. I intend to participate in this carnival more often, hopefully every month. It would be expected that the quality of carnival topics would continue, so I’m going to enjoy being an active participant
Asexual Infoline– So I’ve decided to create an infoline for asexuality. This is a work in progress, although it is up in running in the “beta mode” sense. It’s something that’s going to be around for a very long time, so it’s not something worth rushing the development of. Give it a call at 215-525-3595 and please be patient for it will eventually be updated on a very regular basis.
These are all exciting endeavors and how fortunate that so many volunteers are willing to sacrifice their time, energy and creativity working towards the “Asexual Manifest Destiny”. Safety and peace be upon you!
So I’m involved with an asexuality hotline known as “Strictly Asexuality” and I thought this would be as good a place as any to mention it. The number is 215-525-3595. It’s a regular call and for so many people having unlimited long distance calling in the US it’s a free call.
Option 1-Stirctly Asexuality
Option 2-Strictly Asexuality II
Option 3-Ponyville Insider(yes we have an option dedicated to MLP)
Option 4-Coming Soon
Option 5-Coming Soon
In the latest episode of the Angry Video Game Nerd, the title character refers to two of the pixelated video game characters as “asexual twins”. James Rolfe(AVGN) did not elaborate on why he chose to use the word asexual to describe characters meant to be the Biblical Adam & Eve.
Rolfe produces and stars in the AVGN videos, reviews films and is in the process of creating his first film. The video in question can be viewed at Screw Attack.
The thing with romantic relationships is that they usually fail, and that’s not a pessimistic statement believe it not. “Fail” is really the wrong word here, but I’m using to illustrate the way most look at it. “Failed relationships” can yield many positive results. There are going to be a lot good memories to go along with the bad ones. As the saying goes “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. They can also be looked at as learning experiences about oneself and what one is actually seeking to be better prepared in what to look for in a partner and how to handle a relationship better the next time around. Even many marriages don’t work out, but those are actual failures because the concept of marriage is for it to be a permanent fixture. This is where a serial of relationships that didn’t work out can actually be helpful in leading to a successful marriage.
Mixed relationships between asexuals and sexual people often don’t work out as well, for a variety of reasons, but at the top of the list is the obvious one. Now, sexual couples often have varying sexual appetites, and this is a detriment to those relationships as well, but both partners have some level of need for sex with each other, so it’s somewhat easier to compromise as opposed to a mixed relationship. So why would a sexual person get into a relationship with an asexual to begin with? Hopefully, it is because there’s something much deeper than sexual attraction to the point of it being worth a try. Sometimes, however, the very idea of dating an asexual is the attraction in and of itself and this is the novelty of asexuality.
This has actually happened to me more than once, and by that I mean twice. These were both instances where the females knew going in that I was asexual. Of course, they would have had to have known that if the asexuality was one of the things about me they were attracted to. Both of these relationships didn’t work out and were rather brief. I can also honestly say that my asexuality was the prominent reason for the break up. The novelty of asexuality wore off and one of the very reasons the relationship began would turn out to be it’s very undoing. Or possibly it could be because I’m a total douche, but they knew that going is as well.
The first incident involves a girl I met briefly one night through a mutual friend who revealed I was asexual to her at the gate. Yes I was outed right there on the spot. We talked for a few minutes and then went our separate ways. To my surprise the next day she contacts me being very forward about wanting to date me. When I asked her why she told me she was intrigued by the asexuality thing and also we had Jesus and animals in common in addition of me being “attractive”. Her admiration of Jesus was different than mine however, hers was based on some notion of Jesus being the first feminist ever. To be frank I felt this could lead to a stimulating conversation or two, and I found her to be atheistically attractive as well. There was enough here to warrant spending more time with this person, and I was single and admired her directness so I agreed to give this a shot.
For the short time we were together, we spent nearly every night together, slept in the same bed and cuddled, but the sexual barrier would soon prove to be an issue. “So we’re just friends?” she asked, wanting to take things further than I was willing to go. She ended up taking this as rejection, which is wasn’t. I did compromise with some make out sessions, which I didn’t take part in begrudgingly, but this proved not to be enough to keep things going. The break-up was messy at first, but eventually it was agreed that we enjoyed each others’ company and would cherish our time together.
The second relationship was under totally different circumstances, it being some one I had previously known for awhile. This was a girl I hung out with a lot and we shared our deepest feelings with each other, so of course she knew about my asexuality and was rather fascinated by the concept. This wouldn’t prevent us from talking about sexual situations and she seemed to dig my unique perspective of it all. There was some playful teasing, you might even call it flirting, but mostly in a joking matter. Something then happened that would lead her to believe a relationship with me, an asexual, was a good idea.
Right before we started dating, she had just gotten out of a relationship with some dude, so it was a rebound thing. One of the issues with that relationship was that her boyfriend wanted sex at a much higher frequency than she did. I mentioned earlier that this kind of scenario is common, but this time it would prompt the woman involved to desire to date me for my asexuality. I already had a crush on her, so this wasn’t a tough sell for me in the least. The idea of not having to worry about sex being the pillar of the relationship was appealing to her, and who better to date than an asexual.
Now dating, we put in more time together and they was physical touch and embracing. It only lasted a few weeks, but we never fought and the asexuality thing was never an issue. She would go back to the original boyfriend, though that only lasted a few months from that point. I’d like to believe if I were to have compromised and had sex with her, she would have stayed with me. Today we are closer than ever and still joke about the time we dated.
Concerning asexuality as a novelty, I feel this is going to happen with a girl going after a guy more often than the other way around. I also feel that these mixed relationships do have a chance of lasting, and in fact this has happened many times. The image of being with an asexual romantically has a certain appeal to many sexuals and perhaps the rarity of it is what makes it such a trophy.
I feel the need to coin a phrase for those sexuals who seek to date asexuals and the best that I’ve come up with is an “acecrusher”, which has a dual meaning. Firstly that they are crushing on aces. Secondly, after he novelty wears off they often leave the asexual crushed. So in closing, beware of the acecrushers.
So today on the cover of one of my city’s newspapers The Daily News, there was a headline entitled Flower Show “Porn”. This intrigued me as to what in blue hell that could possibly mean, so yes I just had to read on. Has The Philadelphia International Flower Show, America’s longest running indoor flower show dating back to 1929 possibly incorporated pornography into the show. Seems unnecessary as a quarter million people shell out up to $30 for admission, although that’s just for the superfans who can’t wait and need to get in opening day for a show that lasts for a full week.
The article is online here for those curious. I warn you this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK…totally kidding of course, the first bit of it…
- OOOH, BABY, talk foliage to me. I like it variegated. Betula nigra “Heritage,” your exfoliating bark turns me on.
That’s so Ace and and it brings a smile to my face and I just had to share this with you all. That’s not even taking into account that flowers are asexual to begin with. Thank you Becky Batcha for writing this piece, may you have a “flourishing” career in that up and coming newspaper industry. I’ll assume you’ll see this soon because i know you bing or google yourself all night long! Other then that I leave you all with this asexy video and for the record my favorite flora is the bird of paradise, so exotic…
After a six month hiatus due to lack of computer access it’s good to return to the internets. Before moving forward I’ll be writing an article that I promised back then featuring characters from The Sopranos.
The relevant footage begins in episode 5 of season 1 entitled College, where Tony Soprano is away in Maine with daughter Meadow to check out a suitable college. Back in North Jersey Tony’s wife, Carmela is alone for the night until Father Phil Intintola, played by Paul Schulze, is at the door. Carmela runs to the bathroom to fix herself up a little before answering the door on a stormy night.
Father Phil reveals he is jonesing for some of Carmela’s baked ziti, which she offers to prepare, along with offering Father Phil some wine, chianti to be exact. The priest lights a fie, setting a romantic atmosphere, and sits on the couch with Carmela. Later they are in the kitchen and Carmela receives a call from Doctor Jennifer Melfi, her husband’s psychiatrist. While Carmela was aware that Tony was seeing a psychiatrist, her husband left out the face that the doctor he had been seeing was a woman, which troubled Carmela. Father Phil, from behind, puts his hand on her should to comfort her.
Next they are eating, drinking a conversing Catholicism in the living room, and then Father Phil announces that it is time for him to leave. With the rainstorm still going on, Carmela coaxes him to stay, offering to watch Remains of the Day, a romantic drama with him. Father Phil responds “Anything with Emma Thompson in it”, to which Carmela responds “Father Phil, I didn’t know you looked”. The retort by Father Phil would then be “To take in through the eyes a beautiful woman, is that so different than a sunset, or a douglas fir, or any of God’s handiwork?”.
That last line by the priest is something that many asexuals would agree with, myself included. He clearly finds the opposite sex attractive, although not necessarily in the sexual way that his worldly counterparts would.
Next up, they are watching the movies, sitting shoulder to shoulder. Father Phil has his arm on his leg, body language that I feel is a subconscious acknowledgment to the connection going on between himself and Carmela. It’s as if he is guarding himself from the possibility it going any further. Carmela becomes emotionally overwhelmed by the film they are watching and needs to have it turned off, after which Father Phil, hand on her knee suggests that he can hear a confession from her. She agrees and takes part in that sacrament. Then, with her sins being absolved and her being clean of soul, another sacrament, Communion is taken, after which they embrace in a hug.
This leads to them both sitting on the floor, very close, dozing off while seemingly cuddling. They come to, and share a moment, in which they are looking at each other and seemingly about to kiss. Father Phil then runs off to the bathroom, sick from having too much wine. He winds up crashing on the couch, having spent the night. When he awakes he approaches Carmela in the kitchen to talk about the previous night. “Last night we didn’t do anything out of line” he said, which would indicate that possibly it was just the opposite. He was concerned that his car was parked outside in plain sight, as him spending the night alone with a woman was suspicious regardless.
With Father Phil gone, Tony arrives home and he senses “Father Jughead” had been there from the entire tray of ziti being gone. Carmela confirms this and tells Tony he spent the night, which shocks Tony. Mr. Soprano begins interrogating his wife about why the priest spent the night which is when she brings up that she has learned that his therapist is a woman, turning the tables on the situation which puts Tony on the defensive as the episode ends.
In the following episode, Pax Soprana, Carmela visits the church to see Father Phil to discuss her disdain of Tony’s female therapist. She reveals that she was never intimidated by Tony’s gumats, which is a term used the mafia for a girlfriend, as they were no threat and she considered them nothing more that a form of masturbation for her husband. Dr. Melfi however she was intimidated by, and even though Tony wasn’t having sex with her she still felt “cheated on” in regards to the situation. Her husband actually having sex with other women didn’t compare with him confiding his deepest feelings with a woman other than her. This illustrates that the asexual part of her relationship with Tony was more important to her than the sexual side. The parallel relation she had with Father Phil was quite similar, although there’s no denying the night they shared in the previous episode had romantic undertones. Both Tony and Carmlla were having relationships with other people that contained no sex, yet it disturbed them both notwithstanding. By the end of the episode Tony and Carmela would reconcile, admitting she had been jealous but encouraging her husband to continue therapy.
In the final episode of season 1, I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano, the plot between Father Phil and Carmela continues with him walking into a restaurant when she is dining with Rosalie Aprielle, another mob wife. He sits with them and and he and Ro discuss the watch he was wearing, which she had given him. He puts his hand on hers, a romantic gesture, as Carmela looks on with uneasiness.
Later, Carmela shows up at the church with a bowl of pasta for Father Phil, only to see that he is already enjoying some with Rosalie Aprielle. This causes he to leave the church before even being noticed by them. It is clear she she has a problem with Father Phil having this “relationship” with another woman other than her.
Arriving home later on to find Father Phil there, Carmela’s attitude towards him has changed. She is very frigid with him as he tried to maneuver another “date” with her as he brought the movie One True Thing. When he confronts her about her attitude towards him she does not hold back saying “I think you like the whiff of sexuality that never goes anyplace; I think you have the M.O. Where you manipulate spiritually thirsty women and I think a lot of it is tied up with food somehow along with the sexual tension game.” This leads Father Phil to leave the house and in later episodes there is awkwardness between the two.
Taking this all in it can be said that this was never intended to be an asexual storyline. There are however points we can draw upon within it that does include asexuality. The comparison that Father Phil makes to the beauty of the female body with other phenomenons within nature is a clear indication that he is might be asexual. Also obvious is that there is a connection between the priest and Carmela that goes beyond being platonic. This is evident throughout the entire saga but even more so in Carmela’s response to Father Phil having this same connection with another woman. Her line in the last paragraph unravels questions about whether she understands asexuality as a concept or does not. However, it does illustrate that she gets Father Phil’s fondness of romance without sex.
There is actually another character that appears in later seasons of this show that I am planning to do a future article on that deals with a position that asexuals may find themselves in when in a relationship in regards to how friends respect the situation. I won’t writing that one for awhile as I figure it would be a good idea to space it out and move onto other topics for the time being.
I’ve become a huge fan of Assassin’s Creed video games and noticed a possible asexual link. The plot of the game is that Desmond Miles is kidnapped by Abstergo because with the help of the Animus DNA can be used to access and relive memories of ancestors. Desmond has particular ancestors that were Assassin’s and an interest to Abstergo.
The first game in the series features Altair and takes place in the Holy Land around 1191 courtesy of the Animus. Not much is known about the Assassin Altair and there is no record of his death. There are even rumors amongst fans of the series that Altair is actually alive in the year 2012. As for Altair’s sexuality, he did belong to an order which would be appealing to an asexual, but he also must have produced offspring in order for Desmond to exist in the first place. Belonging to an order or having children simply can’t be indicator of sexuality one way or another, regardless as any statistics that could be drawn up. Altair’s personal life is never touched upon, so there is no way of knowing.
As an assassin it is Altair’s mission to hunt down what have become historical figures such as William V Marques of Monferrat, Abul Nuqoud, Grand Master of the Teutonic Order, Garnier de Naplouse and others. These assassinations are ordered by the leader of the Assassins, Al Mualim. As it would turn out Al Mualim had sinister intentions all along and Altair must face him in battle. Al Mualim is now in possession of the artifact known as the Apple of Eden that grants whoever holds it great power. One of those powers is the ability reproduce asexually. Al Mualim is able to create at least 7 identical copies of himself. There is also a glitch in the game where an enemy on a rooftop keeps multiplying. That seems like a pretty specific glitch.
In the second game Desmond Miles is broken out of Abstergo to a safe house with a more efficient Animus. This time the memories of Ezio Auditore da Firenze ar accessed during the timeframe of the late 1500s in Italy. Leonardo da Vinci is helpful as is Niccolo Machiavelli. Many other legitimate figures appear in the game including the Medici Family. Unlike Altair, Ezio’s sexuality is very present and he is quite the womanizer. I’m certain there are asexual womanizers out there but Ezio isn’t one of them. Up until he becomes an Assassin, his top priority is bedding beautiful Italian women in his hometown of Florence or wherever he found himself
The finale of Assassin’s Creed II had Ezio holding the Apple of Eden and Borgia the main villain, with a different artifact in the Papal Staff. This time it’s Ezio who uses the apple for asexual reproduction which aids him in victory. This is an ongoing trend in the final battle of both games. Does it even mean anything about the asexuality that I usually write about? Has this blog been a total waste of time being the nonsense that it is? Probably so.
For reil though in the mythology of Assassin’s Creed a former subject, known only as subject 16, has left clues within the animus for future subjects to discover. These clues reveal Adam & Eve, with the Apple of Eden, running in a bizarre, advanced world. The biblical accounts of Adam and Eve’s relationship with the Apple of Eden shed an entirely different light on the aforementioned asexual reproduction which is a recurring phenomenon in the game.
Here is a particular passage from the fall of man of God’s words to Eve:
To the woman he said: “I will intensify the pangs of your childbearing; in pain shall you bring forth children.
So eating the Apple of Eden held the consequences of painful childbirth, which begs the question of what childbirth would have been like had the forbidden fruit never been eaten. Beings as the Apple of Eden in the game held the power to reproduce asexually, perhaps there is a connection. I would imagine asexual reproduction to be painless compared to the the sexual method. Is it possible that the original design was to have man reproduce asexually? Beings as Eve was created out of Adam’s rib that I would consider asexual reproduction, and that was well before the fall.
As mentioned in the first paragraph Assassin’s Creed is only based on true events. Details are added that aren’t historically accurate. The historical events in the Garden of Eden are embellished on in the storyline of the video game. It’s just a theory of mine I thought I’d like to share. This will not be unresolved as this fall Ubisoft releases Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood, which continues the story and who knows? Maybe my theory will come true. From what I understand the ending of this game is supposedly mind-blowing.
AC: Brotherhood features multiplayer online games, the first in the series to do so. Anyone interested in joining the author for a game or two when this launches feel free to contact me and we can form an asexual alliance. Anyone can preorder Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood and there is also preorder Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood Limited Codex Edition.
So it’s been over a year since I’ve worked on this project, and honestly I never planned to return. In this community, most are gone as mysteriously as they’ve arrived. As fate would have I’m not going to be one of those individuals. They will have to wrestle my asexuality from my cold, dead hands.
There are a few subjects I’m going to be writing about in the very near future. One of them is an asexual link I found in a popular video game, and I promise to unleash a wild theory in that one. Another is about a character from arguably the top television show of the last decade that is put in a situation asexuals can relate to, although the character is probably not actually asexual. I took Michael’s Jackson’s death pretty hard, probably a lot harder than I should have and I will be writing an article providing new information on MJ.
There seems to be a lot going on in the community in my absence, and I now have computer access once again as my library card has been reinstated after a 1 year suspension. Unfortunately I cannot check out that asexy Youtube channel as the sound will disturb others in this library. That’s what got me in trouble the last time. Perhaps I can visit Kinko’s.
In Jacko’s music video Leave Me Alone, there is a lot of underlying messages. They seem to focus on the “media circus” and one detail takes my interest moreso than all the others. That detail is a newspaper headline “JACKSON FROZEN FOR 50 YEARS”. Jackson “died” at age 50 and my current interpretation is that his life was his frozenness. Being released from his life caused Michael to escape from his physical frozen body and become a totally spiritual entity. It is now 2009 and this video is from 1987, and me being skilled in arithmetic leads myself to believe that was 22 years ago. Not only that, but the question has to be asked if Jackson was a spiritual being before his birth because maybe there would have to be “something” to freeze in the first place. Below is the video and the headline in question appears at the 29 second mark.
The title of this blog is a line from the movie Transformers 2 in theaters now, and I’m giddy about it. In the video below Ace Amoeba and Hypersexual Billy “Human Highlight” Reil discuss this fact and the film and touch on the character played by Megan Fox. Also, Reil coins the term “Acehole”. Enjoy!
Ace Amoeba has decided to do something different, as I feel the Asexual community is in a bubble. Sure, many of us are friendly in joining forces with the LGBT or LGBTQ community, which seems to be evolving into the LGBTQA community which is fabulous. But what about heterosexuals?
How interesting would it be to take a journey into the mind of a heterosexual, preferably a hypersexual one just to be extreme. Doing this would give the Asexual Community an excellent opportunity to learn more about themselves by means of comparison.
The purpose of this short blog is twofold. Firstly I am looking for a heterosexual to interview. I know some personally, however I’m not exactly out publicly as I don’t feel many would understand Asexuality and I myself don’t totally understand the subject to properly explain it as a whole at this point. So in the rare case that a heterosexual is reading this and would like to lend her or his time and brain to be analyzed it would be most welcome and appreciated. I cannot offer any payment at this point however. Contact me at email@example.com.
Also, I am looking for questions from members of the Asexual Community to help out and send questions to be asked in this interview, assuming it even happens. Please send them to the firstname.lastname@example.org , as opposed to in the comments sections. The reason for this is I want the to ask the questions in a way that the heterosexual has no time to prepare an answer in order to procure an honest, off-the-cuff reaction . I thank you all in advance!
It is with great sorrow that I comment on the life of one of the greatest performers, if not thee greatest performer, the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson. I remember listening to the Thriller album with my mother during the early ages when I was a little boy, and it’s something that we bonded over and I will always associate his music with being with my mom. This album included hits like Beat It, Billie Jean, The Girl is Mine and of course the title track Thriller. The thirteen-time Grammy winner knew no other life than to entertain and at age fifty, his life ended today.
I’m physically sick and the only thing that’s holding me together as I type this is that he we will always have the music that he made for us from the Jackson Five through his adult life up until his death and probably well after this tragedy. I recall very vividly in kindergarten at Cedar Grove Christian School bringing in for show in tell a version of the rhinestone glove that was one of his trademarks. Another memory is the first time I saw theThriller video, and that was a major event. It wasn’t like today where we have On Demand and Youtube, technologies that allow us to watch anything anytime. In the 80’s we all got together to watch Thriller on an old-fashioned VCR with a bulky VHS tape. The short film blew me away and I watch it at least once a year during Halloween. I also remember the debut of the video for Black or White, airing on the Fox network coupled with an In Living Color episode.
When 16-bit Sega Genesis was first released, they went around malls across the USA promoting with festival events, and I was chosen to compete in a moonwalk. While I ultimately lost as I did not have the best moonwalk, the 1000 in attendance reacted positively to me punctuating the move with Jacko’s signature “a-hee-hee-hee”.
Even in the early 2000′s myself and friend would karaoke Black or White as a performance to our date that evening. This would lead to an incredibly ace moment that I don’t care to disclose at this time.
I’m going to go out on a limb and admit something I suspected all along. This will also give the asexual community something to think about, something I wanted to bring up before, but didn’t want to open up a can of worms. Today seems like the appropriate time to do so. I believe Michael Jackson was asexual, and I say this for several reasons.
First, I recall in music class in grade school at Ancille-Assumpta Academy, a Blue Ribbon School that received this honor from George H.W. Bush, being told something about Jackson. According to my teacher, Jackson’s hormones were intentionally stunted by his father so he could keep his wonderful voice into adulthood. I don’t think I need to familiarize readers with Michael’s high-pitched voice. Even is Michael Jackson wasn’t born into Asexuality, he certainly was manipulated into it.
The other reason behind this comes out of the child molestation charges, charges which he was found not guilty of on all accounts. Believe what you want, but I feel he never sexually abused any children because he didn’t have any sexual feelings. Perhaps he was an asexual pedophile. I bring up this quote from an interview of Jackson’s, in which he speaks of his relations with young boys.
“When you say bed, they make that sexual. It’s not sexual. We’re going to sleep, I tuck them in and put a little like, er, music on and when it’s story time I read a book and we go to sleep with the fireplace on. I give them hot milk, you know. We have cookies. It’s very charming. It’s very sweet. It’s what the whole world should do.”
Now this was taken as very creepy indeed, much for the reason Jackson brought up about the relationship between a bed and sex. If the world understood Asexuality at this time, not that it is very understood or even known about today, then they would have a better understanding of Jackson’s intentions.
This brings up something that the asexual community will eventually have to as a collective unit come up with an answer to concerning ethics. Is it OK to have asexual, albeit romantic, relations with between adults and children? My gut reaction would be no because children could be taken advantage of in other ways as they’re minds aren’t fully developed and deserve a childhood. I am not, however, an authority on ethics for the masses, but personally I know it would not be moral for me to do it at least and I’m romantically attracted to adults anyway. I do believe children do need more rights than they currently have, but that’s an entirely different issue.
This is something the asexual community need to address, and it would be far better to address it sooner rather than later. The last thing we need is to be looked at as immoral in any way, and taking a stand on a potential negative stereotype is both urgent and imperative. Somebody had to bring it up before this shows up on the fringes and nobody understands Asexuality like asexuals do.
In closing, Rest In Peace to Michael Jackson. He touched our hearts are my thoughts and prayers go out to his family, friends, animal companions and the rest of his fans. Anyone critical of the “King of Pop”. I leave you with words from one of his later tracks.
“Before You Judge Me, Try Hard to Love Me!”
I love you Michael Jackson and I will never forget the love you’ve shown the world through your music and charitable work.
It needs to be made clear that I am not in anyway suggesting that there are people in a dark room plotting on how to implement sexual programming, but rather a paradigm of social constructs that basically polices itself. If someone is not sexually attracted to the opposite sex they do not fit in with these social constructs. In addition, it not enough to be attracted to the opposite sex, but certain typecast a model if you will, of the respective opposite sex.
The evolutionary process benefits those who have traits that will make them reproductively successful. Those who are reproductively successful will have more children who will have or carry those very genetic traits that made their parents reproductive. These children are more likely to go on and reproduce to a greater extent when compared to the offspring of a couple with genetic traits that are not as strong in those regards. With this logic in mind, the types of people that have ancestors with greater reproductive traits should be most common. The types that do not will be tougher to come by.
Asexuals, while just as vulnerable to fall for the hetero-normative sexual programming, at least have the red flag of not experiencing sexual attraction at all. Heterosexuals do not have this red flag, but they do have a many suggestions for how they are supposed to be heterosexual, which can seriously stunt individuality. Asexuality, with more clarity as to the difference from the hetero-normative way, hasn’t had a prescription on how to feel in accordance to sexual attraction. This is a stimulus package for individuality.
The closest thing to a red flag heterosexuals have, other than the vision of what they are truly attracted to, would be that what they are “prescribed” to find sexy, which is not the common person but a model. Models have a look, and it is a rare look that does not suggest a successfully reproductive ancestry. Obviously, even a supermodel’s family tree had a level of reproductive success proven by the existence of said supermodel. This level of success cannot be much better than minimal or else there would be a greater number of persons with those traits.
There are many different types of genetic traits including physical and behavioral. Much of what I’m discussing here is inspired from Roin Baker’s scientific papers as well as his book Sperm Wars. I intend to get a hold of more of Baker’s work, but what I have read does an excellent job of breaking down sexual matter in asexual terms. Baker explores the reproductive strategy of just about everything in humanity and the animal kingdom. He does not explain or make reference to Asexuality, although we must have some reproductive strategy if we we’re born in the first place. I have some insight on what that strategy is, and that’s a topic for another time.
It is just as important to be attracted to reproductive traits as it is to possess them. One can be as legitimately sexually attractive as possible, but if that individual has bad taste in partners, than this may hurt reproductive success for future generations.
So what is the archetype for the heteronormative woman and male as compared to their naturally attractive counterparts? Let’s take a closer look. In the sexual world, and possibly even the asexual world to a lesser extent, physical traits are more to men than women. This is a double standard, but it’s not without reasoning. Women’s role in reproductive success, while changing due to positive progress, historically has existed to carry children in the womb, deliver and raise them properly. Men have served as providers and protectors.
The female model of heteronormativity is the types of women that strut on the catwalk or win beauty pageants. Extremely thin, lacking curves and behaving “ladylike”. I realize there is a strong counter-culture to this aspect of heteronormativity, but this is not yet the status quo. Just to give an example in 1978 Queen released the song Fat Bottomed Girls. A few excerpts from the lyrics will reveal the spirit of the tune.
Left alone with big fat fanny She was such a naughty nanny Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me;
I seen every blue eyed floozy (heteronormative archetypes) on the way But their beauty and their style Went kind of smooth after a while;
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Later in the music industry, 1992 to be exact, Sir Mix-A-Lot would release Baby Got Back, which would go on to win both a Grammy and a number one spot on the Billiard 100. This was a more extreme attack on heteronormativity, targeting the magazine industry.
I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can’t deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung;
I’m tired of magazines(heteronormative?) Sayin’ flat butts are the thing;
Yeah, baby … when it comes to females, Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she’s 5’3″.;
Some brothers wanna play that “hard” role And tell you that the butt ain’t gold So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it So Cosmo says you’re fat Well I ain’t down with that! ‘Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin’;
To the beanpole dames in the magazines: You ain’t it, Miss Thing!;
Today, this sentiment is more frequent, to the point of influencing heteronormativity. Women with curvature are celebrated, as illustrated by J-Lo, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian. David Jay, the King of Asexuality, from AVEN did a blog where he described a potential asexual TV character wanting the sexual attraction to butts broken down on asexual terms. The best way this can be done is by examining the function and benefits of an ample posterior.
Women with ample hips and rear can use them in carrying child, which is a very important reproductive trait to have. It is also beneficial to survival as studies indicate that it can prevent It’s not as if men look at women with curves and consciously realize this is these are reasons why. It’s their body subconsciously triggering this attraction. Also, this trait aids in prevention of type 2 diabetes and ironically controls weight issues.
I am in no way suggesting that one woman is more beautiful another, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder and therefore subjective. Darwin in his classic Origin of the Species addresses beauty, validating its existence. Darwin also poses the question if God intentionally created the concept of beauty. Darwin doesn’t answer the question, but beauty is indeed part of creation and the answer is obvious. Even an asexual can find anatomy aesthetically pleasing, or should I say ASS-tetically pleasing. How much Asexy cred did I just lose with that pun? It was worth it though.
There rise of virility drugs like Viagra, Levitra and Vasomax is further proof, as men should not need them for the results of legitimate sexual attraction. Ironically, these men may very well be with women they should naturally be attracted to, but due to the sexual programming they are not. These medicines are needed because not only are they not able to tap into their true selves, but because they fantasize about women they are only programmed to find attractive.
The heteronormative model of man is something that is more difficult to understand. This largely due to the double standard I mentioned earlier. While there are some major changes that have been going on in culture, men have, and for the most part still have control over almost everything that humankind can actually control. One result of this, men are generally treated with more respect on the screen. For example full frontal nudity is pretty common with women in film, whereas for men is extremely rare. While women may be offended by the nudity of other women in movies, men are uncomfortable with seeing other males in the same situation.
It should probably be explained the topic of the sexual attraction women have to the male sex organs. Does size matter? Women do look at other traits like personality, height and financial success, but in general women prefer larger penises. If anyone doubts this go shopping for “personal massagers” that double as a substitute for a live penis. The standard size is 7 inches, and many are significantly larger, however the average man does not have a 7 inch penis to work with. Thickness is also important.
The porn industry obviously has no problem featuring men displaying full frontal nudity. This makes many men feel inadequate as many times these men appear to have well over 7 inches at their disposal and significant girth as well. The reality is that while there are men that are freakishly large in the nether regions(most women cannot handle this), most use the aid of a contraption known as a penis pump that can temporarily enhance the size of the male sex organ. This is possible because the penis is not a bone, contrary to what slang might suggest with the noun boner and the phrase “to bone”. During arousal blood rushes to the aforementioned body part, and a penis pump can unnaturally promote this to a greater extent.
The good news for sexual men “lacking in the packing” is that they too can use one of these pumps, and even if a woman knows it is an unnatural size, the man showed the ability to adapt, which is what natural selection is all about. If a man has this ability, than so may his offspring and the women’s biology knows this and will accept it just the same as a naturally hung male. Also, because it’s blood related, anything that will improve circulation can enhance a man’s gimmick also. My work involves walking several miles a day so I can confirm this to be true, but as an asexual, it’s not really benefiting me and it makes it difficult to walk sometimes. It slows me down and I don’t like that and am looking into creating a harness, but I digress.
So what evolutionary benefit do well hung warriors carry. Pay attention the mushroom shape of the glans, more commonly known as the head. This is actually useful in the removal of semen belonging to another man and therefore increases the odds of a male impregnating a woman with his own sperm as opposed to the seed of other men.
Another thing women look for in men are a well built butt and legs, as both are a sign of good health. A man who is successful, or has the potential to be successful is sexy because it will create a better opportunities for offspring to succeed both financially and reproductively.
This was probably too much information for many of my fellow asexuals, but I suspect some have abandoned this post by now. Obviously anyone alive has some traits that are useful in reproduction or they wouldn’t have been born. Some are just more useful than others at his time. The earth and her conditions along with humanity’s cultures are constantly changing, and so will the reproductive traits that are valuable.
I hope this was a helpful and informative series, and I also tried to make it as fun and easy to read as possible. There was never an intention to make anyone feel inadequate about their bodies and other traits, but reality is reality and I am all about being real.
To continue the theme of the last sexual programming piece, it’s been decided that there will be a sequel and this will be that sequel. Does anyone else find it interesting that what we watch on television and listen to on radio has been referred to very openly as programming? This is not something I realized on my own, this was told to me by someone who wants to remain anonymous, lest I would quote that individual. More ironic is that it’s been called programming my entire life and I’ve never noticed what was right in front of me. That’s how programmed I must’ve been.
Anyway, the majority of the programming gears us towards heteronormativity regardless of what we are predestined to be. This does not just effect asexuals, but heterosexuals as well. Heteronormative programming still effect those who legitimately feel sexual attraction towards the opposite sex. Sexual programming does not brainwash someone into being heterosexual, but rather the heteronormative version of the lifestyle. This is a social structure to be followed even if you’ve been lucky enough to naturally be part of “the acceptable sexuality”.
It is not enough for a man to be man, or a woman to be a woman under the tyranny of heteronormativity. A man must project himself as a specific type of man, and a woman is supposed to take her role as an archtype of a woman that is not necessarily her true self. It’s as if life is all about auditioning for a role in the very television show that will brainwash others. All this to destroy individuality.
There’s an unwritten dress code in the heteronormative world, and if it is violated then you will not be allowed to be part of that world. Simple as that. It is a real law that is really being enforced. If you break the law, you can exist only outside of this world, a world that is nothing more that a fabrication of sexual programming. Long hair on men and short hair on women is generally frowned upon and are only tolerated when it is worn in a way that compliments their respective genders.
It has been proven that humankind’s natural scent is to attract the opposite sex, but the heteronormative way is to cover that up with gender-specific cologne and perfume. Deodorant is a different issue altogether which is about diet more than anything else. There is a heteronormative way to smell. There a heteronormative body to have, and if you don’t have it naturally then it must somehow be attained be any means necessary thanks to more sexual programming. This is serious business. This begs the question that if we are already female or male, then why go any further to represent that. Worse yet, it goes way deeper than already discussed. Not only is there a heteronormative form to which all women and men live up to, there is programming in place to find heteronormativity in the opposite sex to be the most attractive option. That’s exactly what I’m going to talk about in Sexual Programming Part 3.
They say that ours is an oversexualized culture, but I wouldn’t know what to compare it to. At every turn sexuality is being flaunted, both in reality and everywhere else. Billboards, magazines, television, film, and all forms of new media seem to feel the need to include something either blatantly or cryptically pertaining to sex. I’m positive sex is a good thing, and this is definitely too much of a good thing. I feel that much of a person’s sexuality, asexual or otherwise, has been programmed by a person’s environment, external stimuli.
The above clip is from the movie They Live and the role of the main character, which is unnamed for the duration of the movie, is played by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Roddy puts on a pair of glasses he obtains and suddenly sees the hidden messages behind advertising and entertainment. The “Obey” signage is where the who “Andre the Giant has a Posse” propaganda was inspired from. The example that sums it up best for the point I’m trying to make is when the billboard with the supermodel on it reveals the message “Marry and Reproduce”. It is important to separate science-fiction from reality, but I feel something a bit more plausible, yet eerily similar is going in the real world.
Sex is a natural urge for most, and some will argue that the pursuit of it cannot be programmed into somebody because such a strong urge must be natural. To that, the example of money is a counter. Mankind had gotten by to a certain point without the need for money, but over time it has become something treated like a strong urge. Does this mean that the pursuit of money is a natural urge? No way! The typical person’s life revolves around accumulating money, yet this is not natural. All behavior related to cash-getting is programmed into a person. If a total urge can be artificial, yet an integral part of a person’s identity, then a natural urge probably wouldn’t be protected from manipulation.
I feel that we have been and are being brainwashed. It’s not something many like admitting. It’s not a sinister plot against humanity, but merely misguided souls misunderstanding their purpose in life. It is foolish to believe the media taken in is not going to have some effect on an identity. Media, including blogs, are going to have an effect on the person consuming them. Garbage in, Garbage out.
This theory should mean bunches to us asexuals. There are several reasons why. With asexuals being such a diverse group, I don’t think one particular thing or another causes asexuality, but many may arrive at this point due to being desensitized from the oversexualized reality they are part of. There would also be many who were destined for asexuality but have been brainwashed into being a sexual person. I believe the number of asexuals this has happened to would be shockingly astronomical if figured out. Want to know something else? I have confidence that these victims of stealth marketing can be deprogrammed if they heard about the asexual community.
I know there are many out there in the community right now, some probably reading this blog, that have been deprogrammed from a sexual life to find their true selves. Up to the point of meeting someone who is ace or discovering a site like this, being asexual is no officially presented as an “option”. Now it’s official. It’s okay to be “A”. Identities are crucial to individuals. Look at how much effort is being put into reversing the effects on identity theft. Having one’s identity, even their asexuality, being hijacked from the beginning is a travesty that must be fought against. This is a call to action. Who’s with me?
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